Daly Web & Edit, Inc.

This was an exercise in alliteration for a beginning writing course at Penn State approximately 100 years ago. It’s not very good—well, it’s pretty awful—but by golly, it’s alliterative, and it was a lot more fun to write than the 50-word paragraph the professor (yes, a real professor) asked for.

Winnie and the Warlock

“Winnie, thou art a whale of a wench,

Not to mention a witch,”

Willie the Wicked warbled.

“Watch while with one wild whisk of my wand

Winter and War whistle in with the wind.”

“Willie’s the weirdest of Western warlocks;

Would I were welcome where women walk,”

Winnie whispered wistfully.

“It’s weary I wax of the ones who work here,

Weary of wizard, werewolf, and witch,

Weary of wolfbane, wand, and ward.

I want to wing away from the web.”

And Winnie wept woefully.

The wizard’s wrath was wrought to a wail—

A whiff of wicked wafted away.

“Why would we want to wait for thee

Where the Witching Wall meets with the West?

Well, wander whither thou wouldst go,

Wend a woman’s workaday way.

Want and wish and wheedle wilt thou

When men won’t worship and watch over thee.

Whimper, weep and wail wilt thou

When winsomeness wanes from thee.

And whilst thou wander, ’ware the witch,

’Ware the wolfbane, warp and woof;

Wizard’s wrath is worst of wrath,”

The warlock’s warning went.

Winnie went over the Witching Wall.